For members of a Gaston County church and surrounding communities, Sunday marked an initial week of grieving and trying to come to grips with an unthinkable tragedy.
Services at Venture Church in the town of Dallas were held one week to the day after longtime member Roger Self drove his Jeep into the Surf and Turf Lodge, a restaurant in Bessemer City. Self’s family members were seated inside. His daughter Katelyn and daughter-in-law Amanda, were killed. Self’s wife, son, and 13-year old granddaughter were injured.
Over the past week, Venture Church lead pastor Austin Rammell has faced his own grief and anger, questions from his congregation, and from the news media. WFAE’s Mark Rumsey went to Gaston County yesterday and spoke with Rammell about the tragedy, and the response to it.
Q: Since the tragic events of Sunday a week ago you have chosen to address the situation very publicly with your congregation and with the media. Why did you choose to approach it that way?
It’s twofold. Number one: [The Self family] is not a family who lived off in a wilderness isolated. They were all deeply involved in the church. Roger has taught students through this church since 1980. Each one of those family members, like his daughter-in-law Amanda, was heavily involved in our children's ministry. There are tons of children in our church that love Amanda and now she's gone.
So, we felt like we needed to address this in a manner that acknowledged the reality of its impact. I literally felt hopeless as Roger's friend and pastor, knowing the depression and anxiety he was going through. I was doing everything I could to help him. I was by no means the only one walking with him, and yet we didn't help him. I've just never felt so lost in my whole life. Numerous people in the [Self] family have said we just pray for the gospel of Jesus Christ to be heard and that something can be done that will help other families not to not have to go down this road again –so, we've opted for a more public approach for that very reason.
Q: Regarding the emphasis being placed on Self’s mental state leading up to the fatal incident, I'm wondering: Do you see any danger of a rush to judgment about what actually led him to drive his car into the restaurant?
Some of the family was torn up that their father was being framed in [the same way] that you would frame up a mafia person who put a hit on somebody because they owed him money. That's not the case with Roger. We were walking with him through this depression and anxiety. The system's going to have to figure out why he was there and what got him there. It’s going to have to determine if he was doing what he should have been doing to deal with [his depression and anxiety]. Those are all questions that are out there.
It changes the dialogue a little bit when we're of talking about a cold-blooded murderer who isolated himself -- or killed his family out of jealousy, or envy, or some motive like that. Instead, [Roger Self] was a person who was deeply depressed and not thinking rationally as a human being. It doesn't take the evilness away from it and it doesn't take the responsibility away from Roger. But it should add at least a measure of grief for him, instead of just anger.
I'm angry at him, but I'm also grieving for him.
Q: Have you communicated at all with Roger Self since the fatal incident?
I have not. I have communicated to the sheriff that if it was possible for me to see him, I would like to see him. I will eventually talk to Roger.
Right now, I'm focused on his family and the victims of this. No one should misunderstand – I'm not saying he's a victim. He did a heinous and horrible thing. At what level his mental disturbance was a part of that, all of those things will come out. But right now my focus is on those people that I can help, and I look forward to eventually getting to sit in front of him.
As someone who loves him deeply still, to just grieve with him because eventually they're going to get him stabilized mentally and he's going to face what he did. It's going to be the most horrifying thing he's ever imagined.
